My One In A Million Shuuhei
by twent47blue
Summary: This part of my novel,My Covenant.One scene that I'm stuck with right now.So I hope you enjoy this one episode and you will be seeing this again,altered bear in mind.Reminder this is AU and characters are very OOC.


Author's Note: Right. I should be concentrating on my project, My Covenant. But I'm kinda stuck right now in my story. So I decided to get this out of my head so I can continue with my story. I hope you guys like this little episode which would be familiar once you get to read fiction version of My Covenant. Keep in mind pretty please, that this story is AU (Alternate Universe) and the characters are very much OOC (Out of Character) so if this is not your cup of tea, I didn't ask you to be here. So please keep your biased opinion to yourself and take it somewhere else. This was written for fun and for fans to enjoy. So feel free to leave comments. Thank you and happy reading.

**-Renji and Shuuhei-**

When he was alone in his room. He sat up on his desk and brought out the toy cars he had brought from the orphanage and the comic books, and then he lined them all out. Staring at them, smiling sadly. He took out a worn old picture of them, little Shu-Shu and Ren-Ren, Shuuhei with long hair, and looked like a girl. He laughed a little. And then he took out the other one, this is one of his treasures, their last picture together, days before they parted. He wasn't able to give Shuuhei a copy of this. It was at their safe haven, they were arm in arm. He traced the picture, and then saw the ring on his finger. A tear fell from his eye.

"Oh, god. I miss you. I miss you so much. If you only know how much I miss you, Shuuhei. My Shuuhei." He whispered, as he took the photograph and brought it to his lips, tears, falling from his eyes.

He touched the toy cars and held it to his chest, and he began crying. "Shuuhei. If you could hear me, I love you. I love you so much." He whispered, as he closed his eyes.

"Someday. Wait for me. Someday, I will find you, my love. I will find you and never ever let you go." He said, he took that one car and the picture and carried it to his bed, cradling his precious treasures in his arms. Whispering his name over and over again, like a mantra. A chant that would somehow heal his wounded heart.

If only mere words could take away the pain. If only a simple chant could bring my thoughts to you. If only the wind could whisper my name to your ears. Please don't forget. Don't forget me. We will see each other again. I promised you. I would find you and when I do, I would never ever let you go.

Renji made a journal. Since he got to his new home, he started writing in it. Like when the time he would talk to Shuuhei. He would write in it everyday and sometimes, there are days that is all he do, write. It is what keeps him going. It is what keep his sanity intact somehow. It is what keeps him from crying and having a tantrum. Because his new family is nice, his new family cares about him. And he didn't want to bring them any problem or sadness.

He would write about his day, his new school, his new friends, incidents that happen that day, all the new things that occur. Sometimes he would smile when he writes, imagining his best friend intent on listening to him, with wide eyes. And he would pause like when he thinks a time when Shuuhei would ask him about stuff. Sometimes he would laugh aloud as if he just told something funny to Shuuhei and there are times, he would stop writing and starts crying. He really miss him a lot. There are times he would spend the day reading what he wrote and reading it aloud, like those times he would retell something to his best friend.

"If you would see me now, you would probably laugh at me. I don't look as strong as you say I am. I am crying like a baby right now because I miss you so much. I miss you so much that it is driving me out of my mind thinking of you. I don't know how long I can keep this up but I'm trying. I'm trying my best. Still hoping, still wishing that there would come a time I would see you again, my Shuuhei. My love Shuuhei." Renji started talking to the pictures again on his desk.

He would have this melancholy moods when it is evening, when everyone is asleep and he is alone in his room, and he is at his domain with all his childhood memories, and the shrine of his best friend that he had erected on his desk. The toy cars, the comic books, the pictures. No one touches them, not even the maids who cleans his room. They all respect that part of him, this is one of his request he asked of everyone, that he would be the only one who can touch the stuff on his desk. These are his personal treasures. And he told his new parents that he loved them but if he asked them if they can let him keep this part of him to himself, keep this part of his past to himself. And they respect that, and told him that he didn't need to ask. It is what makes you, it is who you are, and we love as you are now and who you are when we picked you up on that faithful day. They told him.

Evenings are his time. His time alone. It is his time with his Shuuhei. His only one. He would talk to him like he was there. Sometimes he asked himself why he do this, why does he torture himself everyday, like this. He could just keep it away, and just remember. But no matter how many times he tries, he would always dig it up and take it out from the chest where he put them before to be stored. He couldn't bring himself to stop. Like as if when he stops he would forget. That he if doesn't continue this ritual every night, he would forget about Shuuhei, that his love for his one only would wane.

They grew up together in the orphanage, both having lost their families to fates, they found their own fate, which is to be together. At thirteen, they were the best of friends. And very inseparable. Kids started teasing them sometimes, whenever Ren-Ren sticks up for the weak and sickly Shu-Shu. They would tease them and tell the two that Renji is here to protect his_ boyfriend._ The nuns in the orphanage think nothing of it at first, since kids are kids, they would often call each other names and would tease each other to death.

But one of the teachers were alarmed, when they found the two boys in an empty classroom, kissing. And it's not just an innocent kiss like when kids are curious. It was something more. The boys were startled when the teacher let out a howl and slammed the door shut. Their guilty hands quickly removed from each other's pants and insides of their shirts.

The mother superior talked to the two of them about the incident. They could not understand things, and all the grown ups don't know how to explain it to them that what they did was bad and should not happen. But trying to explain to a thirteen year old about homosexuality and sex is something very difficult and delicate tasks. They didn't want to confuse the boys and told themselves that the boys are probably just fooling around and have not gone that far, they could not have because they would not know how.

So with that reasoning the adults just decided to separate them, in not so obvious way, like assigning them different chores, and the only time that the two could be alone is with all other kids in the facility, bed time and meal time.

The boys questioned them, begged, pleaded, cried, made a tantrum that they do not see each other anymore. That if they did something they are sorry so please forgive them and they said they will not do it again.

"Honest, scout's honor." Renji said. Although he did not what it means to be a scout. And when asked if he knew what it meant, he shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know, I just heard it on TV, I think it is cool." He said.

The mother superior laughed at their innocence. But she knows that they have to make a decision now before things get out of hand and complicated.

It was a hard decision. They didn't want to do this to those two boys, knowing if they are a little older it would be easier to explain things and not separate them. But they have to do what is good for them. After all that is why they are there, they would be the temporary parents and family for these kids until they are sent out to be with their new family and start having their new life and be with their real families.

Shuuhei wouldn't eat. He would go out and do his duties but after that just stare into nothing. He cried and made a tantrum until he got himself sick. He found out that they are sending his best friend away and he was going to be left behind. He couldn't accept it. He wanted to go where Renji is going. The sisters tried to explain that he will have his own family to go to but not right now. Renji would be happy with his new family they tried to convince him. He will not believe it, he can not believe it.

It was Renji who got him out and convinced him to eat. One of the nuns had talked to the other boy, he is older than Shuuhei for a few months and they believe that Renji is the stronger one and he would be the one who understand so he did, he smiled at the nun and thanked her for explaining things to him. He said he would be the one to take care of Shuuhei and talk to his best friend and make him understand.

The sisters somehow took pity on the boys and decided to give them a week to spend time together. Because when Renji leaves there is no guarantee that they could and would meet again. They may or may not cross paths again. And the mother superior did not want that in her conscience. If she has a choice, she will not put up those two boys for adoption, they are for more too precious for the people in the orphanage.

Those two boys had made that place a happy place. And although they never meant to or it was not intentionally, they stand out. The younger ones looked up to Renji and they rely on Shuuhei. The older boys are afraid of Renji they would not dare tease Shuuhei or make him cry or else they know there will be hell to pay if Renji finds out. Both boys are fair and looked after all the kids, and they are very helpful and respectful to the adults in the facility, they would volunteer to help without being asked. The mother superior knew that both boys must have come from good families, a good and kind mother, and a dependable and loving father. For both boys have all these traits on their own, added their quirks, their pranks and mischief, they are ordinary boys who had a bad luck in losing their parents, and deserve another chance, another break. The mother superior is sure that there would couples who love to have two handsome boys, and they are ideal sons after all. But that is not their purpose in separating them. But it really had to be done. It really have to be this way.

They played all day on the first day, running around the grass like two lunatics, they were happy because they are together. And that this all that they needed to be happy. To be together. It was a good idea, the mother superior thought watching them from her window. They might try something now, she said to herself but it will not be taken far, and it would be something to remember each other by. They all agreed to leave the boys alone, and they knew they would try to kiss again, but they know the boys would be too afraid to go beyond that. They would both wish to remain pure and innocent for each other, and yes, everyone knew that their bond is peculiar, more than friends, more than brothers. It would be hard to define. The mother superior don't want to try to explain it herself, it would go against everything she believed in and her fate. It is not that she was questioning her fate or how the world works. But what she really wants is what is best for their two "sons" the sons of every adult in the facility, the friend and brother of all the kids in the compound. They would surely be missed if they both go. The mother superior has already made a decision long ago, when they had decided to put up Renji for adoption. If Renji has to go, they have to have Shuuhei find a home too. It would be unfair to him. This place would remind him of his best friend, it would be hard on his young mind to comprehend the adult's decisions and why does a kid like him have to obey and agree to, that he have no choice in the matter, that his opinion will not matter because he do not know anything, he is far too young to understand. But the mother superior was shocked when Shuuhei has a say to everything that is happening.

"Is it not the reason the sisters try to find families for us kids is because you want us to have people we can call our family and that we will have a place that we can call home?" he asked, he was looking up, asked permission to speak and wanted to voice out something about what was about to happen to them.

Mother superior smiled and replied, "Yes, my son, you are right about that, you are here because you lost your real family, and we are here to find you a new one and a home. And this time, you will have the future, love and affection that you truly need and deserve. The new family you will have will give you all of these things and more. You will grow up to be a fine young man, and we are proud of you and somehow that somewhere along the way of your growing up we were there for you." She replied.

The boy looked up, he was quiet for a bit as he listened to the old sister. His face was serious, "But sister, I am happy. I have a brother and twenty more other brothers and ten more sisters, I have five sets of father, and twenty sets of mothers, including all the nuns and the people who worked here, and I have a home. This is my home. And when I grow up, I will make something of myself and help the orphanage, I would be an architect, and I would build new buildings, and add more play grounds for my family, because this is my home and this is where I belong." He said.

"Can that be possible or better? But we are going to be separated. You have to take one of my brothers, and worse the brother you are going to take is to me is my real one and one and only brother, my best friend. Do you know sister how much that hurts? I lost my real family and you are going to take away the only family I have come to know." He said, and started crying.

The sister was quite. She could not explain, it is so hard to explain. He was right. They didn't do anything bad, they don't deserve this. But Renji had already met his future family and only awaiting now the release of his papers before he moves in to his new home.

The mother superior don't have words but only comfort. She patted his back and embrace him. And this all she has to say in reply to the truth he spat at her face.

"This is all for the better. You will not understand now, but someday you will when you are all grown up." She said.

"If that is the reason then I don't want to grow up." He said, and broke free from the sister's embrace and ran away.

No one knows where he ran off to, he disappeared. They tried to find him in his usual hiding places he uses when he plays pranks on the staff or the nuns but he was not there.

Renji got back from his day with his new parents. And they told him what happened that Shuuhei was missing since morning, it was already late in the afternoon. He did not come back for breakfast, lunch or snacks. He is probably somewhere starving, they said.

It took only fifteen minutes for Renji to find him. He was crouching under an old tire, where they used to hide when they are trying to get away from everybody. No one knows this hiding place except the two of them.

The other boy was shocked to see the condition of his best friend, huddled there in the hole with a rag covering him, he must have been crying all day that he fell asleep tiredly.

Renji crouched down and picked him up. He didn't bring him back to the dorm but to their hideout, a make shift camp that they have built secretly together. He laid down beside him, hugging him close. Shuuhei woke up and saw him, hugged him tight.

"Please don't leave me again, I can't stand it. I don't know how, Please. Please stay with me, or take me with you, please." He begged sobbing uncontrollably.

Renji couldn't answer him. All he could do is hold him, and keep on kissing him. Tears running down his face. He was distracted all day, trying to get into the day with his new parents, but it was so hard to pretend to be happy, although they were nice people, he didn't want to be with them. He just want to be with Shuuhei. He had longed realized that when he grew up knowing this boy back then that there would be something wonderful that is going to happen between them. That it was fated and sealed like their destiny, that they were meant to be for each other. It will be their covenant….their promise that no matter what happens. If they part or lose each other along the way…they will wait and find each other again. That no matter how long and no matter how hard, and no matter how much it breaks them, there will come a time that they will reunite and be there for one another once again.

Have you ever loved someone so bad that you thought you will die when you lose that person? Have you ever found someone who meant the world to you and there could never be another world that would exist for you than with that person. Shuuhei had found that someone. And to him, it seems like natural that it is Renji and not some girl. He had never pictured himself with a wife and family. He had always envisioned himself with his best friend. Side by side with him, together. And there are no other place he would rather be than with him.

"So beautiful." The older boy whispered, as he trailed kisses down his best friend's neck. He had thought about this long and hard. Never had he felt like this pull of attraction for anyone.

It was like gravity, he went off balance, he kept going in circles. He was so confuse he didn't know what was happening. He couldn't comprehend that he would be feeling this way for another boy and let alone his only best friend and someone he consider his real and true brother. But right now, there is nothing brotherly in this situation. They are both naked and skin to skin, and he is on top of the younger one, trailing and mapping kisses all over his body and rubbing himself on top of him. He didn't know what to do. They both don't. They are just following instinct and their carnal lust for each other. They both know that is the reason why the older one is being sent away, adopted and processed real quick without even the grace period of allowing the new parents first to come and visit him but in a week's time, they had his papers processed and he only had a day spent with his new parents which was today and he would coming home with them at the end of the week and that was three days from today.

The younger boy never felt anything so glorious in his entire life, he couldn't describe it. If this was a sin like the nuns and the other adults had told them, he would ask for forgiveness, not because he was sorry, but because he can not help himself but he love to do this all over again, and may be even go even further than this. He wanted his best friend to be his first. He wanted the older boy to be his everything. He wanted him to put a claim on him, marked him, and make him his. Because he wouldn't let anyone else do this to him except this person, this person whom he grown to love ever since he understood what that word meant.

He was right that everything is about Renji. He has made his world to evolve around this person. And no one can convince him that because he is young and too young to know that he will get tired of this nonsense immediately. That once he met the woman destined to be his partner he would forget all about his best friend. But he begged to differ. They wouldn't know, they could never know what he feels. He is the master of his life, and he would make his own destiny. And he had vowed since that day, that he would make sure that he would spend those days and every moment with this very person who is making sweet love to him right now.

He closed his eyes and whispered a silent prayer of thanks and yes, an apology, for falling in love with another boy and now for doing this acts with him. He promised that he would give up everything in his life, if it means he would be able to spend the rest of him life with this person. That he would spend every waking hour of his life, at the sight of that face, and feeling that warm familiar body at night. He would die happy if he could have that, just that, just this particular boy, his best friend.

"One last time. Give me this memory, my Shuuhei. Give me this memory I can engrave in my heart forever. Because I don't know if I will ever see you again, my love." The older boy said, whispering as he kissed every part of the younger boy's body that his lips can touch.

There is an ache in his chest that he can not comprehend. Like someone has brutally and forcedly taken something from him without his permission. They had taken something that is so precious to him, that he don't think he would survive without it. Like they have cut off his arm, and cut it into bits and pieces so it would be impossible to try to surgically put it back, it felt like the cut off one of his limb, a leg, broken them to pieces no one could which is which anymore, it is like they gauged his eyes out and ate it, now there is a gaping hole at his face where his eye had been. Then lastly, the ripped his chest open and ripped his heart out from his chest, it was still beating when they held it in their hand. Now he is like an empty shell, a hollow doll, a droid that can only function because of the routine commands it was used to. This is how it felt like. If only they could ran away and leave, ran away together so that they could be together. But where would they go? How would they survive? The stories they heard from the street wise kids were scary. And for the older boy he would rather leave the younger one here than take him there when they wouldn't know what to do or how to survive. He would not want him to get hurt by other people or be separated because of some harsh decision like running away.

So he held him, held him as tight as he can. So that he would remember, his body would remember each curve, each plane. That if he close his eyes he would know it is him, he would also know the touch of his love.

"It will not be the last time, Renji. We would find each other again. No matter how long it takes I will find you. I will find you and we would never part again." He said.

Slowly, their bodies intertwined, clinging to each other, holding on to each as much as they could. Time stopped for the two of them, and the world around them had stopped to exist. All they could think of is each other, all they could see is each other. Their need and want has come to its edge, it would not be put out, it could never be stopped anymore. Their bodies molded into one, skin, sweat, lips, arms, limbs, torso, hands and hearts came to be one. As they became a part of each other. Lips hungrily kissed, hands grabbed and cling to each other, as if they let go they would drown and get lost and never find each other again. Bodies glued to each other, needy, desperate. Cries of longing, sobs of despair. If they could only live in each other's skin they would have done it.

The mother superior saw them first, it was the older boy, he was walking slowly, he was carrying the younger one in his arms. She run down the stairs to meet them, "I-Is he okay?" she asked, worriedly, touching the younger boy's forehead.

"He is fine. Just tired. He is sleeping now." The older boy replied as he cradled the precious bundle in his arms more tightly.

The younger boy fell asleep in his arms after huddling and holding each other close. He touched the younger one's forehead. He is a little warm but probably from the activities they did, although they have not gone that far, any person would be probably burning up from all the surge of emotions. He felt a little hot himself. He wanted to do more than rubbed against the other boy but he did not know anything and he feared of hurting him so, they are just content to hold each other, to be face to face, arm in arm and skin to skin. He never realized that it felt this way to be with someone. That if you are in love with someone you are over flowing with feelings and you can not contain it to yourself. That it is even hard to breathe. Well, to the older boy that is what it felt like, that is how he felt for this person he has got in his arms right now.

The nun led them to their rooms, a special room just for this week alone. A little more time for them to be together.

"I'm sorry that is has to be this way, I had made a hasty decision. But I hope even that I hope I did the right thing in thinking more of your future." She said.

The older boy gently lowered his precious bundle on the bed, they younger one moaned and clung to him.

"Shh…" he said, slowly, gently caressing his hair, he gathered the blanket around him. "I'm here, I'm not going to leave you." He said, assuring him as he kissed his forehead. He sat by the bed and the other one clung to him in instinct.

The mother superior and the older boy chuckled quietly, "Big baby." They said together and laughed again.

"It will be alright, sister. He will be alright, he will be strong." He said, and then smiled sadly, "There would come a time that we will meet again. Maybe it would next week, next month or next year, we could never tell, or we may be never meet again." He said, then looked up.

"But Shuuhei and I are connected, that no matter where the other is, we will always, always find each other. Time is not a problem, waiting would be hard, but we would be patient, because we know that, that day would come. And we would together again, and this time we will not part."

The old nun walked up to him and touched his face, she leaned close and kiss his cheek, she leaned over and kissed the younger one's forehead.

"I love you both, Renji. If I have had another life, it would be a dream come true for me to have sons like the two of you. If we only could keep both of you here, we would." She said, and sighed, turning to the sleeping boy on the bed. "And we know, for Shuuhei, he would rather go somewhere else, than stay here with all your memories. He would want to start a new life with a new family, make a better person of himself and try to find you." She said.

"I know you two will find each other again, and you both would live a better life. And I hope you two would come to visit this old sister of yours when you can. I would love to see my favorites sons." She said, with a smile.

The older boy got up and hugged her, "Of course, we will. This is our home, this is where our family lives, we would never forget our real family, we would come back, and we would try to reunite with our family once again." He said.

The nun smiled and left them. Renji let out a sigh. The older boy glance back at his best friend, he chuckled a little when he saw the hand clinging to him tightly even in sleep. He turned and shifted on the bed, and gathered the sleeping boy in his arms.

"Oh." He said, with a slow intake of breathe. He doesn't know if he will ever survive if he part with this person.

Only you and you alone. Only you can make this world seem right. Only you can make the darkness bright. Only you and you alone, Can thrill me like you do. And fill my heart with love for only you. Only you can make this change in me. For it's true, you are my destiny, When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do. You're my dream come true, My one and only you.

Only you can make this change in me. For it's true, you are my destiny  
When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do. You're my dream come true. My one and only you. You are my dream come true  
My one and only you.

They stared at each other for a long while. Tears flowing freely. Renji said he won't say goodbye, it's too hard. But he can't do that, not to Shuuhei. He wanted to see him even if it hurts too much. He wanted to embed him in his memory of how he looked before he go.

Shuuhei gave him his ring; it is the only treasure he has, given to him by one of the younger nuns who were now transferred to another orphanage. It meant to him and he wanted him to take it with him when he goes, it is like taking a part of him with him, he said to Renji. Then Renji untie the bandana around his forehead, and handed it to him.

"So you will remember me, and that will remind you that I am always with you wherever you go. I hope this will make you strong, because where I am going, I would be too far away to run back to you if you need me." Renji said, sobbing.

Shuuhei couldn't speak; he was too choked up to say anything. All he could do was to hold Renji tightly, as if he held on, they wouldn't take him away, that he cried hard enough they would take pity and not separate them. But despite of his efforts, they had to part. Shuuhei's heart broke that day, for he did not know if ever he would see his best friend again.

Back to the present. His mother asked him if he wanted to invite one his classmates or friends over for a sleep over. She was kind of worried about him, and wanted him to move on and find new friends. Although she didn't say it out loud. But she did want him to forgot about that side of his past, and yes, forget about Shuuhei. There was even a time that the couple talked and thought it would be best if they would have Renji see a psychiatrist and may be it would help him get over this mourning and this senseless obsession and ritual that he does every night. His mom had over heard him talking to himself one time, and she was she was shocked when she heard him laughing to himself. At first she thought that he was on the phone with a friend, or have an imaginary friend, and since he was only thirteen, he would probably still imagine a friend since he is an only child. But she was appalled when she heard him call out a name. Shuuhei. And everything changes. His mother said it is getting to be unhealthy and she did notice that he has gotten pale and thin lately, from all those nights that he sometimes stays up "talking" to his best friend.

She couldn't help herself when she finally confronted him. And told him to stop mourning over someone who is not there but already gone. She told him that the boy is already gone. That how could he be sure that his best friend is doing the same thing. She tried to reason out to him, she had asked the councilor what to say, and she told him that. That his best friend may have forgotten about him by now, now that he also had been adopted by another family. That his best friend may have new brothers and sisters now, have also other friends. And he would not remember about Renji anymore. Or if he did, he would not go to the same extent as Renji had been doing.

Renji didn't say anything. He smiled. He smiled so hard that he thought his face would crack. And told his mother that she was right. Yes, it is possible that Shuuhei may have forgotten about him. He made another request, that he would be able to keep these mementos, and he promised that he would not touch them again but please not asked him to throw it away. His mom was relieved that she was able to talked some sense into her son and told him it was alright he wanted to keep them just don't go over the same thing he had been doing for the past month. It was unhealthy and it is bad for him. And she confessed to Renji that they were really planning to send him to a psychiatrist if he didn't stop this senseless obsession. And he smiled again and nodded, that they were right. It was senseless. He was not thinking. That he had been so selfish, and was only thinking of himself, that he was not able to see the worry his parents had been going through. The next night his mother peeked in his room to see if he had indeed put away his shrine from his past. She smiled broadly that Renji was sleeping soundly and the desk was clear of the clatter of those old memento of the past that they want him to forget.

When he heard the door close to his room. A tear fell from his eye, as he took out the picture and the toy car from under his pillow, and worshipped them silently in his head, as he cried as quietly as he possibly could. He had changed his habits. He had learned to kept secrets. Although he knew that his new parents had meant well and only wanted what was best for him. But he can't allow it. He can't allow them to take away the most precious thing he had ever treasured in his entire life. And that is Shuuhei. Maybe they wouldn't understand. Because they have not lived his life. They have not gone through what he had gone through. They have not have someone as much as precious to them like Shuuhei is to him. Although he knew that his new parents may have loved each other. He had told himself that they could not equal the love he have for Shuuhei and Shuuhei for him. For them may be he is just a child, that it is best that he should listen to them, because they think they know better. That they know what was ailing him even if they didn't know what was wrong with him, or they didn't know what was ailing. That's right. They don't know. Period. They don't know a single thing. They don't know the raw ache that he had been feeling, it was always there. It never leaves. Maybe he was so good at hiding them, that no one could tell. That deep inside of himself he was crippled. That deep inside of himself, he is a divided person. Because they never lost anyone. They had always been complete, they have each other. Although he would say that they never have a child, so they would never know that pain it would cause if they lose that child. And that is how he explains his feelings. He had lost someone that is so precious to him, like someone had cut his arm, and no matter how good surgeon there is, no one can saw it back, or could find a substitute to replace the appendage that was lost. Like replacing it was the only answer, that no other option is more suitable for it. That it is easier to replace it or find a replacement and it would be all better. But it is not. It would not be the same anymore. And no one can understand that. Maybe only Shuuhei could, maybe the people back at the orphanage could. Like the mother superior could understand best next to his best friend. Because they all had gone through losing someone, Renji had lost Shuuhei and Shuuhei had lost Renji, and the mother superior had lost two of her most cherished boys.

It hurts. It hurts a lot. The pain in his chest is unbearable. He couldn't breathe. Like he had lost his air. His vision is blurry with tears, and to him it was like losing his sights. The ink on the paper on his journal is starting to fade because of his tears. If only he could drink a pill and the pain would go away. Or put a bandage in his heart and maybe it would stop the hurt. Or find a new friend, a substitute so he would forget. Yes, if only. If only a mere pill can do the trick. That there is a quick remedy that you buy over the counter for a broken heart. If only if it was that easy, take a pill, put a bandage. Or substitute a friend. If only these solutions were the right answers, then how come it didn't help? How come no matter how much he tries, he couldn't accept it. He couldn't let go of Shuuhei and his memory. If only it could be that simple. Then his thirteen year old mind would not be in such a torment over this.

All the boy needs is a change. So they took up on that suggestion and started bringing all the kids in their extended family they could get their hands on, it was the wife who had taken up on this decision. It was her mission to groom her new son to be a respectable boy that is worth deserving the title of heir to their legacy. The husband was a little hesitant at first but in the end, left everything to the wife to do what she thinks was best for their son.

The kids were okay at first. When they didn't know who he really was. But they do already know that their aunt and uncle can not have kids and so they knew that he is not really related to them, that he is the big A. Adopted. They were nice when the aunt is there. But when they were left to their own devices, they started treating him like a low life, like a slave or errand boy, at first, Renji doesn't care. Just as long that when they left he can have his peace and be with his Shuuhei again. But they always went too far. Because they thought he is afraid that he would be isolated by the whole clan and other relatives but in reality, he just didn't want the attention. All he really wanted was to be left alone.

Renji forgot to hide one of his precious toy cars, it was identical to Shuuhei so it is more precious to him more than anything else in his life. One of the kids wanted to keep it, he was chasing them, begging them to give it back, of course, they thought it would be fun to tease the outsider, the adopted son. They got out at the backyard. And Renji was finally furious when he saw that asking nicely is not getting him anywhere.

"I said give it back, I mean it." He said, a little angry now.

The boy was pissed, "What is so special about this car anyway it is old and ugly." He said, sarcastically.

"Then if it is that, then why won't you give it back." He said, stepping closer to reach for it.

The boy toss it over his shoulder, tossing it in the water of the swimming pool.

"Shuuhei." He whispered under his breathe, and jumped right after it, he didn't care that he can't swim, he didn't care what will happen to him. All he wanted is to get the car back.

He got the car in mid-air, and the kids thought that it would be alright, that the fun is over now, and Renji would swim out of the pool. But they all turn around when they heard the splash, and then silence. They were shock and watched in horror when Renji sunk into the bottom of the pool, and he wasn't moving.

One of the kids panicked and called the adults. It was the chauffer who got Renji's lifeless body out of the pool. The man was quick enough to do CPR. All the kids watched in horror as the man tried to breathe life back to the unconscious boy. He was still gripping the car in his hand.

The mother rushed to him and hugged him in his arms when Renji started coughing and spurting out the water from his lungs.

The chauffer said, "He dived into the pool, he didn't know how to swim." He said, explaining how Renji got in the water.

When she turned to asked the kids what happened they were too frightened and confessed what they did.

"We only wanted to borrow it, and we were just teasing him. We didn't know that he will jumped in the water after it, we thought he would ask someone to get it for him." One of the culprit said.

When the mother looked at Renji and saw his clutching the car, he saw her face and he cringed. And started crying.

"Please I beg of you, punish me if you want. Please mom, please don't take it away. I will die if you take this away from me. I beg of you, please." Renji cried.

She made a noise at the back of her throat and cradled him in her arms, "Oh, my child. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes, you can keep it. It's yours, keep it. I won't take it away from you." She said.

Years went by, there was a laughter in one of the rooms. A woman walked in and smiled. "Hey, I thought you are going out?" she asked.

Seventeen year old Renji looked up, his red hair cascaded down his shoulder, as he grabbed one of the bandana and tied it around his hair. He smiled at her, "Just a second, mom." He said, and continued talking on the phone.

"So, I will see you at the same place? You think it's still there, maybe one of the teachers had found it by now or probably a new building is standing there right now." He said, with a laugh, his eyes were shining bright, his voice happy.

"If there is we would still find each other, right? It's been a long time, its so good that we could finally see each other, I miss you so much." The voice on the other end replied, with the same warmth and happiness.

"I miss you so much, too. I'm going now, wait for me, alright?" he said, his voice gentle, and lowered his voice, "I love you, my Shuuhei."

He hung up the phone with a blush when he saw that his mom was looking at him. He walked up to her and kissed her cheek.

"I'm going mom. I will see you later." He said, fingering the toy car in his pocket. She nodded and smiled.

When he stepped out of the car and looked at the same familiar building, he touched the finger with the ring to his lips. It's been so long. Shuuhei.

The familiar old tire was there, their childhood scribble it still there. There is a tall boy standing there. He is a lot taller now. A little bigger than he was before than when he was thirteen, filling up at all the right places. More handsome. He heard the approaching footsteps and turned around.

I don't know any other worlds but ours…I don't know any other love but ours alone. There could only be you in my life. My one and only you, my one in a million you. My Shuuhei.

Owari

Additional note: This is a different ending than the project, My Covenant. But you will still see the same scenes from here to the fiction version. I just want to see another version of that one scene. But I might change it in the fiction itself. But still, I hope you guys enjoy this. This somehow gave me a little idea how to end my novel. Thank you for reading.


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